The Villains Play Charades
by Princess Arimae
Summary: Z's sum: A BUNCH OF VILLAINS PLAY CHARADES.  A's sum:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T BE DEFEATED! Hey... What's that?  Co-authored with Zelda R. Wolfchyld. You can find her on my page. Rated T for CD, torment & Laughter. Please R&R.


**Co-Written with Zelda R. Wolfchyld. I hope you enjoy!**

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**Azula**

**Darkside**

**Leopardkill**

**Tigerstar**

**TMNMLDF**

**The Shredder**

**Ash**

**Dark Link**

**Darth Vader**

**Darth Sidious**

**Stepmothers, 1234&5**

**Wolf**

**Opek**

**Ikerask**

**Xena**

**Elmo [Even _HE_ says he's a monster]**

**Sparky Sparky Boom Man [SSBM]**

**Mai**

**Dr Eggman**

**Sepulchure [& Fluffy]**

**These are the bad-guys.**

**They like Charades.**

**Watch.**

**Laugh.**

**LIVE!**

**

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**The night was yet young, when Darth Vader arrived.

"Remind me again why you came along, Master?"

"Because."

"But why?"

"Because."

"But why?"

"Ring the doorbell."

The doorbell rang.

Ferocious barking was heard within the house and Leopardkill opened the door. "Hmph. You decided to show up." he grumbled.

"Come on in! It's charades!" said Ash.

Too much sugar in the punch; Ash was being light-sidey again.

A vicious growling was heard and Ikerask shoved his rabid head through the space between Leopardkill and the door. "RAAAAAAAH" he roared unpleasantly.

"SHUT UP!" shrieked Azula. "IT'S MY TURN!"

Darkside sat beside his near-look-alike, Tigerstar. "Let's get this over-with. I want a turn next."

Azula walked forward with a hand over her eye.

"I must create some honor to restore. I must find the Avatar I've already found on several occasions. I'm a traitor... Who am I?"

Mai looked bored.

The Shredder pointed a claw at Azula. "Lord Zuko of the Fire Nation!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"If by that you mean my dumb brother, Zuzu, you've got it."

Darkside jumped up and unsheathed his claws. "MY TURN."

"Fine... BUT THEN MEEEE!" said Ash.

Mai looked bored.

Darkside padded up to where Azula had stood. He got down on all four paws and started yowling and foaming at the mouth, imitating barking sounds.

"It's not fair doing someone in the room! You might hurt their feelings!" said Elmo. "Ikerask, are your feelings hurt?"

Mai looked bored.

Ikerask snarled and lept upon Elmo, red fuzz began flying everywhere as he snarled and drooled, his eyes red with fury.

Tigerstar watched in horror with his jaw open. "That's something no one should have to see..."

"Which? Elmo or his death?" asked Sep, unphazed.

Tigerstar glared at Sep.

Wolf came up and held Ikerask by the scruff. "I can't let you do that, Fo- I mean Ikerask." he sneered.

"Why not?" asked Sep, clearly disappointed.

"He's our only link to todlers, these days," said Mai, in a bored tone.

Opek sighed. "Enough of this foolishness. Who's next?"

"Me!" cried Ash, in a delighted tone.

"Here we go..." sighed Vader (Or, at least, something very like a sigh).

Eggman sat and played with his new ipad.

Opek stared at Ash. "Well, get on with it, fool!"

Ikerask foamed at the mouth.

Abruptly, Ash changed from the humanish form he had been using to the form of a dark-grey cat.

Shape-shifting was about the only useful thing Ash could do. It came from being so many characters.

"I killed many cats... And then I died because I don't believe in StarClan! Who am I?"

Opek pondered thoughtfully. "Ashfur?"

Tigerstar scoffed.

"No! That's just the form I'm in! Guess again!"

Tigerstar chuckled and sneered at Opek.

Leopardkill took a sip from his teletubby mug. "Scourge of BloodClan?"

"Right! You got it! Who's next?"

Mai rolled her eyes.

Dark Link snuck up behind Mai and pushed her forward. "Come on grumpy boots! You're next!" he grinned.

Mai glared.

Then she stood, perfectly still, with her arms at her sides, in the middle of the floor.

"What am I?"

Xena stared, looking her over. "Yourself?"

Tigerstar pondered and unsheathed and sheathed his claws. "A tree struck by lighting?"

"A light-saber," was Vader's imperious guess.

"An enchanted fool?" tried Azula.

Dark Link flopped in a plush chair. "The four sword."

"A... stick?" Opek asked.

"A vegetable?" Leopardkill scoffed. "Not that a vegetable would look much different..."

"It is a vegetable, but which one?" asked Mai, in a bored tone.

"A cucumber?" the Shredder hissed.

"OHOHOHO! I have it! You, my dear, are a CARROT." Eggman exclaimed triumphantly.

"Yes," said Mai, sitting down.

"When is she /not/ a carrot, then?" asked Azula, sarcastically.

SSBM showed his agreement by taking in a deep breath and blowing out a huge explosion through his third eye, straight at Mai.

A huge grin curled on Opek's mouth and his fangs showed. "Now that's more like it."

"I call Zuko, now that his girlfriend is dead!" Xena chimed.

"Xena, you're already married," pointed out #1.

"Yeah! Play fair!" said #2.

"Read the rulebook!" said #3.

"Besides, you're a wolf-thing!" said #4.

"It's called a 'Mystic'," said #5.

Xena growled and glanced at Ikerask; he was sitting in the corner, foaming at the mouth with his eyes crossed. "Pff. I call a divorce. I'd be much better off mated to a Fire Lord." Xena paused a moment to think about how that would actually turn out.

It didn't matter.

"Who's next?" asked Elmo.

Dark Link pointed a shadowy finger at Sep "You next,"

Sep stepped up. He gave a nervous wave. He stood very still. He put his hands behind his ears.

"I live in a forest and collect boxes. I am dumb. What am I?"

Wolf pondered. "A fox?"

"Nope!"

"A sneevil!" said Ash, shifting to the form of a boy in a yellow shirt, with minimum armor.

"Right."

Dark Link jumped up. "Me next!"

He shoved Sep aside and stood with his feet together, he shot his arms into the air and held them stiffly above his head, then he leaned to the left to form a sort of crescent shape. "I'm bright, white and I hang in the sky. What am I?"

Leopardkill giggled. "He rhymed..."

Tigerstar thwacked him over the head with his paw. "Mouse-brain.

"A candy-cane?" guessed Ash.

"Violent?" guessed Sep, sarcastically.

Tigerstar growled. "Are you all blind?"

Ikerask had stopped foaming and was laying on his back, drool running down his fur.

"He's the moon," said the MNMEHALTDF. "Duh."

Dark Link stepped down and flopped down on a couch, hanging his arm over the back and getting comfy. "That's right. Who's next?"

"We are!" cried all five stepmothers in unison.

Dark Link glanced at them. "Go ahead then." he twirled his shadowy sword in his hand.

Immediately, the quintet lept into action.

1 and 3 danced around the room, unnatural expressions of delight plastered on their faces. 4 and 5 went back and forth between joining them and kissing each other. Loudly.

2 spun around and around, looking at the ceiling, "Who are we?"

A loud, uniform giggle arose from all five step-mothers at this pronouncement.

Opek recoiled in disguts and flinched everytime 4 and 5 smacked lips. "Repusling! Humans are truly repulsing."

Tigerstar smirked. "I'm not fond of them either."

Shredder looked inquisitively at the performance. "A clip from 'Cinderella'?"

Dark Link's palm made a loud 'slap' as it came in connection with his face and spread over his eyes. "Good grief..." he mumbled.

"Close! But not quite!" cried #4 in a sing-song voice, inviting another bout of unnatural giggling.

Darkside twitched his whiskers as he flicked his tail annoyingly. "Human folktales are all the same. You seen one, you've seen them all."

Xena snorted. "You got that right. Somebody better guess quick, cause I think sparky here isn't pleased..." she glanced at SSBM, who's eyes glared at the stepmothers and he was hyperventilating.

Sep had had enough. Out came the doom blade, and down went #4.

"Die fiend!" he cried.

The other four stepmothers shrieked.

SSBM decided that the step mothers' turn had ended. He took a deep breath... KABOOM! A large black burnt spot was all that remained.

"I wonder what they were, anyway..." said Vader.

Ash clapped, enthusiastically.

Tigerstar sneered. "We'll never know." he yawned. "Now, who's next?"

The Shredder volunteered.

He stepped up and curled into a little ball, making his claws stick out so it appeared he was spiky all over. "I'm spiky. When I'm scared I curl up into a ball. What am I?"

"A dead hedge-hog?" guessed MNMEHALTDF. "I have no idea (or real interest) what they're like alive"

Shredder shrugged and got up. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

Eggman stared in dismay and got out a small device with a large, ominous red button with the print of 'PRESS ME' written upon the surface.

"YOU DARE MOCK A HEDGEHOG? MY WORST ENEMY?" with a small 'click' the button was pressed.

A huge explosion and nothing remained of Shredder but ashes.

Vader laughed. "Who's next?"

Xena flicked up a paw and and trotted over to the center.

She took a deep breath and stood on her hind legs. She used her magic powers of illusion to create a blue lightsaber in her paws. She swung it around, then again, used her illusion to make it appear her paw was severed off and she sat on the floor crying. She didn't need an explanation for this one.

Opek burst out laughing.

"Not funny," muttered Vader.

Sidious laughed, maniacally.

"Vader's pitiful son?" guessed Azula, sarcasm in her voice.

Xena laughed and blew her illusion away "Correct!"

Opek sighed. "Who DOESN'T have a pathetic child?"

Xena glared sharply at him as she sat down.

Ikerask leaned over and drooled on Opek's shoulder while he growled.

"I don't have a pathetic child... To my knowledge," said Sep.

"I like to think of Vader as my child," said Sidious.

"Considering the line of conversation, I'm really not sure how to take that," said Vader.

"It means he has a pitiful grandson," offered Tigerstar, helpfully.

Dark Link sat up. "Well, I don't have one, but most sons or children are pathetic."

Tigerstar grumbled. "Mine will pay for what he did..."

"It's because they are weak," said Azula. "Weak and small. It is up to us, the powerful, to weed them out."

There was a long silence; they could almost feel Mai's ghost looking bored.

Opek just stared. "yeaaaaaaaaaah." he flicked his tail at SSBM.

It was a pleasure to end her.

Xena dusted the ashes off her pelt. "So, who's next?"

MNMEHALTDF stepped forth.

Tigerstar shrank back in his very presence, remembering his last encounter with him. He still had his replacement wolf paw.

Dark Link grinned eagerly, awaiting the events to follow.

MNMEHALTDF fazed into the middle of the room, shade-like.

"When I'm gone, nothing follows.  
I cause no pain, but many sorrows.  
I walk my road, to turn around.  
Leaving only what I found.  
Who am I?"

Opek snorted. "Oh great. Riddles."

Dark Link raised his hand. "Oh oh! A will-'o-the-wisp?"

"Wrong," said MNMEHALTDF, while finishing of Opek.

Wolf rubbed his chin. "A worldly possession?"

Xena, who had been sitting next to Opek, casually dusted the ashes off her fur.

"Never."

"Is it death?" asked Azula.

MNMEHALTDF nodded and fazed back to his seat.

Xena nodded. "Clever."

Tigerstar raised a paw and stepped up.

"Here we go..." Sep muttered, under his breath.

Tigerstar glared at Sep, then pulled out a razor. He shaved off most of his fur and rasped like an old woman.

"I am skinny, weak, and have no flesh, no sense of humor, and serve the lousiest Name-finding master in the world. Who am I?"

Tigerstar knew he was risking death, but who cared? He was already dead!

"Honestly, you _look_ like Ikerask," said Sidious.

"It's the mismatched paws."

"Ikerask doesn't talk," argued Azula.

"Do I know you?" asked Ash.

Leopardkill sighed and was suprised Sep didn't react.

Tigerstar growled and rasped some more. "Yes, I believe you do."

Wolf looked around. "Didn't Sep bring him today?"

"No I didn't bring my granny!"

"He means Fluffy, you idiot!" said Azula.

"Really...?"

"Yes."

"Huh... Worst actor yet..."

Dr Eggman chuckled loudly.

Tigerstar glared at Ash. He collected his pelt, and put all his fur back on his body.

Sep laughed.

"Who's next?" asked Azula, sighing loudly.

Ikerask padded over and snuffled near Darth Sideous

Xena patted her mate's head. "Ikerask has chosen."

The sith-lord stepped foreword. Lightning began to shoot from his fingers. Then he ran around the room, top speed, and yelled, "Who am I?"

Darkside pondered. "A scene from 'Terminator?'"

Leopardkill suppressed a chuckle.

"If that's soposed to be me, I'd sit down **now**," said Azula.

Sidious sat down.

Darkside burst out laughing.

Wolf paused. "Why don't you just use the force on her?"

"He knows better," said Azula. "Who's next?"

Ikerask leaped forward. He found a pile of dirt and threw it down in the middle of the floor. It plumed into a large mushroom cloud, and Ikerask finally spoke for the first time that day.

"it's a giant... MUSHROOM. Mushy mushroom!" he waved his forepaws frantically, as if trying to get the cloud's attention.

"What?" said Sep.

"Sokka," said Sidious. "Under the influence of cactus juice."

Ikerask had apparently not heard. Or he was enjoying himself too much. He continued to stare in wonder at the mushroom cloud.

Xena slapped her paw to her forehead.

"I guess this happens a lot?" said Vader, to her.

Ash snickered.

Xena grumbled. "You don't know the half of it."

She got up and dragged Ikerask back to his corner in the room. She slung a metal collar around his neck and chained him to the wall.

Xena walked back to her seat. "Now, who's next?"

Vader took his place. He pulled his hood over head. "The Ring! Shire! Baggins!" he stage whispered. "Who am I?"

"A pants salesman?" Dark Link joked.

Leopardkill elbowed him. "He's from Lord of the Rings, stupid!"

Tigerstar meowed. "Gandalf?"

"He's a Ring-Wraith," said Sep. "Honestly..."

SSBM had decided that was enough. With a deep breath, the entire room and most of it's occupants blasted into smithereens.

It just goes to show, boys and girls, it's not about who wins or who loses, but how you end the game!

The end!

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**So here you go! **

**We hope you enjoyed!**

**~Princess Arimae & Zelda R. Wolfchyld***

***You can find her on my fav author list on my profile.**


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